I definitely miss him, but I find myself saying/thinking "I Miss You" way more than normal. Not just when thinking about Dan, but when thinking about a ton of other people.
Back when myspace was what FaceBook is now, I believe I was at my happiest point on my life. Even before Dan came along I believe I was on the road to legitimate happiness. [yeah, when I got into a relationship a whole other batch of insecurities and problems showed their ugly heads but that's another story] I felt like I was on top of MY world. I had a number of great friends that I could come to and be my complete self without and worry. I had gotten over the whole "real" vs "internet" friend thing that had been drilled into my head. When I finally just let go of all the preconceived notions I had about making FRIENDS online...I found myself with a nice sized dose of happiness.
Even though I am still very close with one of my first "online" and GAY friends, my lover [NO not my BF, incest is gross and this guy is like my brother] Marc. He was one of the first gay guys I talked to online. [Well one of the first gay people I talked to online as MYSELF. I had about a yr or two of FAKE myspacing under my belt. I was a 6ft white guy named...Tyler I think. There was another one before that but I forgot his name lol haha I was so pathetic] I met Marc bc I thought he was his boyfriend, he had a picture of him and his ex-boyfriend like hugging or something as his default on the GYC [gay youth chat] he's white and his boyfriend at the time was latino...and coming from Ohio being a mixed kid I tended to not talk to attractive white guys online bc from experience with guys in my area...i feared rejection. So thinking he was his bf i messaged him and ended up falling in love with him. Not in the way that you think though. I love Marc, like I LOVE the kid so much, he's not even a friend to me anymore he's so much more. I bring him up because after meeting him I have met SO many great people online. Seth is another great guy who I am still in contact with [which you guys know bc I shout him out like every blog :] I cant help it, I loves my sethington. Check out his tumblr for amazingness I believe his link is lifeThruGlasses.tumblr.com if that's not it and I didn't come back to change it...don't punch me. I am an A.d.d. kid and I need to get these thoughts out right now and if I go check tumblr I will get lost over there for hours and never finish this post lol] Seth and Marc are my two pity husbands that I have lined up for when I find myself 30 years old, alone, in a basement with no one to love me. Though I'm sure they'll have found happy husbands my then...but a guy can dream can't he ?? lol
Anywhoo, I have a point I promise. I said all that up there to say that I have met SO many people online and it seems like one by one I lost contact with pretty much all of them. Jacob, he was a GREAT guy. The first time I talked to him we talked for hours and hours and he's one of the few people who even got me on the phone. We made a few bad choices and it messed up our friendship but I really miss him. Manny, another GREAT guy. Recently found him on FB but we still don't really talk that much anymore. Kirby, was pretty crazy times but I still really miss our friendship. Chris, talked to him for awhile last night and it made me miss him even more. When we first met he was another person I hit it off with and he got me on the phone. That's huge when I say that bc it's hard to get me on the phone bc I'm ridiculously shy. Then there's Alexis, I don't even know what happened with him. It's so crazy you're like talking to someone everyday and then it's like months and even a year later and you realize that you havent spoken with that person in SO long. Sozo, I remember having a bad day on twitter and snapping at him, I regret it but it's been way too long I doubt he even remembers me. Donick, I talk to him from time to time but I have the biggest crush on him so I like always miss him lol
If I went though the list of people that I wish I was still in contact with, this would be the longest blog in [my] history [of blogging].If you're reading this and we used to be friends and somehow we don't speak anymore...email me or look me up on facebook. My email is JCMays00@gmail.com and my fb link is http://www.facebook.com/Jimmy.Mays91
There are so many of you who I wish to talk to again but I don't know how to reach you anymore. With a lot of people deleting their Myspace accounts and me being TERRIBLE with first AND last names so finding them on fb is nearly impossible, it makes it hard to get back in touch with people. There are even people who I don't remember that I know I would love to talk to again because I can't remember everyone but I just remember meeting so many great people and now they're all gone. From going through SO many broken phones, losing numbers that way, to quitting the blogging and twitter scene for awhile, it's hard to leave the internet and come back because when you're gone for too long everything changes and a lot of people move right along with it.
If you're out there, I miss you. Let's be friends again?
I wonder how many people this blog will reach..
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