Ok I'm a liar.

I guess I'm NOT gonna take a benadryl and fall asleep.
Instead I'm going to eat my feelings and blog...yeah, that's much healthier :]

(Now Eating: Warm Tortilla's with Peanut Butter #Yum)

So I guess I'll do another completely random post.
Lets start with the current paper I'm working on. Though I'm not technically working on it yet lol I'm still trying to decide what I want to do it on. It's an Analysis essay for my Comp class. I failed Comp I last semester and I have my old analysis essay [which was the ONLY paper I did in that class], and I'm deciding if I want to just reuse that one or start fresh with this new class. Though we already did and turned in an essay so the fresh start began two weeks ago. The reason why I haven't just slapped a new date and my new teachers name on it is because I went to see the Never Say Never [the Justin Bieber movie] last friday and I kind of want to do my paper on him. I want to analyze why he is so popular among adult audiences. There was a part in the movie where like a 24-26 year old woman was talking about how she loved him, but it wasn't in a weird sexual way. She had a legitimate love for his music, and looking around the theater there were a lot of adult couples watching a Justin Bieber movie while on a date. Then I went into class on monday and she let us know we were going to be starting the analysis essays and I couldn't get the Justin Bieber topic out of my mind.

Mostly because I LOVED the movie and I have been like obsessed with Justin Bieber since watching it. It's weird to say but after watching the movie I felt really proud of him. There was a scene where his dad was seeing him perform in concert for the first time and he was crying and it was the cutest thing ever. I also feel that sense of pride with Jaden Smith too. Seeing him perform at the Grammys and seeing Will and Jada in the audience cheering him on was really cute. The icing on the cake was seeing will mouth the words "That's My Baby!" at the end of his performance. Just perfect :]

[I love peanut butter]

I know it sounds bad, but I kind of want to get dressed and go to the bar for a little bit. I think it's more out of habit then out of NEED for alcohol. I have a cousin who i am really close too and she used to live right across the street from "our" bar and whenever she was bored she'd call me over and we'd always end up at the bar drinking $2 Bud Lights [when we were too broke for actual liquor lol] and listening to the music on the JukeBox. I remember one night the bar was SO dead that it was literally just me her and the Bartender until about 1am then a small rush finally came in. I have so many judgmental people in my family [and in my life] that I don't like saying that the bar became my home away from home in a way. Again not because of the alcohol, but because the sense of just being there and knowing the faces of the people who also always go there. A lot of people I went to elementary school with go there [since the elementary school is right down the street, I'm assuming, like myself, they haven't moved away from the neighborhood yet]. If I were talking about the library or a park or something like that, people wouldn't have a problem with it, but because it's a bar I automatically have a drinking problem.
I can openly admit that for awhile my cousin and I would find ourselves at the bar any and every day of the week, but I can also say that it wasn't something that I NEEDED. I just went to go. [as you can see] I can't go to bed early to save the life of me and what else is exciting to do after midnight than masturbate and go to a bar?
...NOTHING that is what.
Also Tony goes there and you guys already know about tony :]
He's actually the reason I REALLY started going there. I had went there a few times and actually didn't like it at all, but the night I seen him there for the first time and he hugged me...I had to come back for possibly more lol

So Dan [most of you know who dan is...if you don't, read more of my blog posts lol] told me about this iphone/iTouch/iPad app called Grindr. It's basically like A4A but it tells you exactly how far you are from the other guys. I guess he found it when he got his iphone and ended up meeting someone who he really hit it off with and that's when we broke up and they got together [i think in that order? lol jk jk] anywhoo he was really happy with that guy for awhile [god what was his name...it was something different but not DIFFERENT idk. it doesn't add to the story] and then they broke up and he found ANOTHER guy [his current bf] and now they're super happy together.
...shit, I so lost where I was going with this... Oh yeah, so I recently got an iTouch, and before I had gotten it I was talking to dan on FB and told him that he needed to give me his secret for finding good bf's [not that he needs a secret, he's hot as shit and a sweetheart but anywhoo] and he mentioned Grindr again. I kind of cringed at the sound of it bc I grew to hate that word after we broke up but he told me it really helped him find guys in his area. [which is like 2hrs north of me] So I figured I might have some luck and I decided to get an iTouch and try it out....Needless to say, Toledo has Failed me once again.
I said grindr is like a4a with distances before because that's exactly what it is for me. The majority of the guys who are on there are also on a4a and then there's the huge population of people without pics...like a4a in my area. So I have officially given up on finding a boyfriend, ever. And to make things even WORSE, the one guy who actually talks to me, and isn't old enough to be my dad, is YOUNG enough to be my kid brother ! He's a cute kid but he's 16. I know I'm only 19 and I shouldn't be acting all high and mighty because I used to talk to 19 year olds online when I was 16...but I just can't do it with him. He's a really nice kid but he takes it towards sex a lot and all I can think of are those To Catch A Predator shows. I don't wanna show up at some random house but naked with whipped cream covering my dick and nipples only to find chris hanson and a 21 year old 'actor' who looks likea 16 year old boy. No thanks.
Sigh, Ohio Ohio...what am I gonna do with you.

LEAVE YOUR ASS is what I NEED to do.

Ok, I'm feeling a little better, even though none of those things mentioned above are what I was sad about lol I think I'm gonna try to lull myself into a deep sleep.
Hope you all enjoy the post...if you ALL don't, I know at least my buddy Seth :]
<3 ya seth, hope VA is treating you well :]


xoxo